[box type="shadow"]Question 12 of the BlissMB 30 Day Meme: Do you have low self-esteem? Or did you have a low self-esteem before? What did you do to boost your self-esteem? If no, what are some of the advices that you can offer to people who have low self-esteem? What can they do? [/box]
I used to have a rough time with self esteem. It has been a long, hard battle with myself but I think I’m pretty swell. It doesn’t mean I have to have a huge ego but I can be confident enough that I can appreciate myself and give myself the things I deserve. A good example of this is my weight loss. I feel that if I still had the low self esteem, I wouldn’t be as successful as I am right now.
Here are some things I have learned along the way about self esteem and about loving yourself in general.
You have to love yourself. If you are constantly talking negatively to yourself and blaming yourself for things that happen then you will get nowhere! Negative thinking is just a bottomless pit and you will sink deeper and deeper. Instead, you need to try thinking positively. It may feel weird at first but try complimenting yourself when you have done something good instead of always noticing when you didn’t accomplish something you wanted.
The guilt has to go. There is no place for guilt in your life anymore. This was big for me especially when I started trying to adapt for my healthy lifestyle. Every single meal, every single day is not going to be perfect and sometimes you deserve a little something special. Don’t feel guilty! If you want to indulge, sometimes you deserve it! Tell yourself that you have done a great job and then don’t let yourself feel guilty for having that piece of cake. Or let yourself have a nap after you have worked really hard. You earned it! If you have made a mistake, instead of feeling guilty, replace the guilt with responsibility and then move forward instead of dwelling on it. Learn from your mistake.
Accept compliments. This is something I really had a problem with for a long time and sometimes still do. If someone tells you that you are really good at something, you should believe them and accept the compliment! Say thank you and genuinely believe that they are being honest in their compliment. If they think that you are a good singer or that you are losing weight and look awesome then maybe you should believe them, too, and start feeling good about yourself! Also, you should learn to compliment yourself.
Criticism is not a personal attack. If someone criticizes you, take it constructively. Think about what they have said and see if there is some truth to it. Even if it is hurtful or worded in a not so eloquent way, there is always some good that we can take from what other people see in us. Can we turn those hurtful comments in another way? Make those comments feedback and learn from them.
Do not judge other people. Who cares what other people are doing? You should be confident enough in yourself that whatever they are doing shouldn’t have any effect on you. Let them be themselves and you just be yourself. When you find yourself judging someone else it is only because you are insecure with yourself and are defining yourself as someone who is judging someone else.
Compare you to yourself. Along with judging other people, only compare you to YOU. Who cares how much weight Susie Q lost? You lost 40 pounds and that’s awesome! Who cares how much money John Doe makes? You got a raise from last year and you work very hard and should be very proud of yourself. You are doing a great job and you should only compare your successes to your own successes – not the successes of other people.
Don’t hang out with negative people. If you have friends who are always making a lot of negative comments, chances are you are going to start doing this, too. It is probably a good idea to distance yourself from people who make you feel sad, upset, or pessimistic. Chances are if you are constantly in this mood about most thing, you will be this way toward yourself, too.
Exercise! Exercise releases endorphins in your brain to help you feel energized and happier. Exercise can boost your mood and when you are feeling happier and healthier you might feel a bit more confident. Plus, when your body is feeling a bit more fit and energetic, that is great for confidence, too!
So tell me one good thing about yourself today!
I tried on a new dress at Macy’s when I went to the city on Sunday and I looked really great in it! I think I am going to buy myself a brand new dress for Easter, in fact! Because I have been doing so well and I deserve it!