VulnerEARbility.
Yesterday, I had such a horrible ear ache at work that I could barely walk in a straight line! It was interfering so much with my balance that I was just unable to perform the tasks that I needed in my workday. I tried desperately to make it through the day but the longer I waited, the worse it got. I waited so long that by the time I asked to go home early, I had to ask Josh to come pick me up because I couldn’t even drive. I fell asleep in the car in the parking lot waiting for him and my mother to come and get me and take my car back.
I always feel so helpless when I have to do things I like that. I found myself in the nurse’s office calling home from the little phone in there. Whenever I feel sick I feel so vulnerable like a small child. Why is that? Working in a school and sitting in a nurse’s office around other children probably didn’t help much either.
I hate feeling vulnerable. I am the type of person who always needs to feel like I’m in control of everything and when I am sick I just don’t feel that way. I know a lot of people who enjoy the time off and like that people cater to them when they are ill (though obviously they don’t enjoy being sick).
When was the last time you felt vulnerable? What are your thoughts about feeling that way?
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Hmm. Last Friday, I was standing around in a dense crowd, and the lack of air made me begin to lose consciousness. First I started to feel airheaded and woozy, and then my vision clouded over, fading to grey, and as I stumbled out of the crowd my hearing began to turn to static as well.
That was the second time it happened, though, so it was much less distressing than the first time (which was at an underground railway station). At least both times I’d been with people I knew, which was reassuring (if I actually did lose consciousness, I wouldn’t want to be alone). Still, losing my ability to see properly is distressing, and the prospect of losing my hearing as well (at least the first time) was terrifying. Without sight or hearing, how could I communicate?!
Luckily, sitting down for a while and drinking something has worked so far. I still remember well how unpleasant it is, though. :(
oh dEAR.
I think it’s more embarrassing than anything. being sick and then having to go around telling everyone so you can leave or get someone to help you. I don’t want to be the center of attention like that.
I got sick during my english class once, had to run out to the bathroom in tears, I felt that bad. Man that sucked. Or last year, I almost fainted during our training class because I was dehydrated. If I’m gonna be sick, I’d rather it not be in public.
Oh geez I feel vulnerable ALL the time it seems like. Lovely hormones I think lol.
Did your earache go away? Any idea what caused it?
Aw, I’m sorry to hear you had such a horrible ear ache. :( I hope you’re feeling better now!
I always hate when I have to ‘involve’ other people in my sickness. I hate having to tell people I’m feeling unwell, and rescheduling things. I always feel terrible doing that. I think I hate that more than actually being sick. XD
I hope you’re feeling better today!
I’m feeling vulnerable a lot these days. I totally get what you mean lady.
I hope you’re feeling better, I understand what you mean though. I think that’s how I knew I wanted to marry Charles, I could feel vulnerable with him and be ok with it. I felt how I was allowing myself to rely on him. So in some ways it’s a wonderful thing I guess. I still try not to feel that way often but still it’s good that I can without to much anxiety now.
Hope you’re feeling better? I too have had a terrible ear ache, which has been ongoing since Saturday! I really should get to the doctors, as I have a feeling it may be an infection, but I’m putting it off each day in the hope it’ll get better by itself ha. But, to answer your question, I’m the same as you – I always feel so vunerable when I’m feeling poorly. I turn into a little child, and just need looking after completely.
I’m sorry you’re not too good with earache. I get terrible travel sickness that hits me pretty much every time I get on the bus and sometimes I go faint with it. I had horrible travel sickness yesterday and I was with Meghan too which didn’t help matters. I didn’t feel vulnerable as such but I just hate not being on complete control of myself.
Asking others for help is always very challenging. Hope you made it to a Doc. Feel better soon!!!
wow that really sucks :( I’m sorry that your ear was hurting you so much. I hope that it has gotten better and that it doesn’t happen again!
I’d say blow smoke in your ears but as far as I know, Josh and you aren’t smokers. It really DOES help the aching. Just don’t pick your ear or put anything in it (q-tips are a DEFINITE no-no!) unless you get some ointment from your Doctor because you could hurt your ear drum!
The last time I felt vulnerable was immediately after my surgery in December, being completely at strangers’ mercy, fussed around with, not being even able to move without help. Makes one feel quite small… like a child, in a way.
I’m usually pretty good unless I get a really bad migraine. I can usually fight it off myself pretty well with a bit of a nap but if I don’t take Excedrin or if I don’t take care of it in time [like sitting in a meeting for hours] it gets REALLY bad, and I almost can’t even care for myself. Because I’m light sensitive, I can’t really see anything TO take care of myself… it’s always then I just wish I was home with someone taking care of me : ( I think everyone’s like that though, at least a little bit.. if someone wasn’t, I’d probably tag them as a anti-social person or something :/
I kind of feel that way right now–backache and headache at work and there’s not much I can do but wait it out (I’ve already taken as many OTC drugs as one can take).
But I know the feeling. It does suck. But it also reminds you how you have people in your life that are there for you.
*HUGS*
Caity — I hope you’re feeling better now. I agree about feeling vulnerable when you’re sick. I’ve had some physical problems lately and it’s hard to not let them pull me down.
I try to remind myself that even if I feel sick right now that it will eventually get better:~)
BTW I love the look of your site. You’ve done a marvelous job of decorating. It’s fun to come here and visit:~)
Aww poor you! Its horrible having ear infections, i think i have only had one so far, but it never messed with my balance, so yours must have been very bad :( Hope your better soon! xx
I’m the same way, I always need to feel in control of my life, and … everyone elses haha. but i have lots of things recently that restrict me from being in control of things, its difficult to feel like you’re at the mercy of other people or vulnerable =\
I think the last time I felt vulnerable was when I was flying out to meet my biological family for the first time. It was a horrible day… several flight delays, two broke down planes, and many hours behind schedule. By the time I got to my family I was a raw bundle of nerves and didn’t know what was gonna happen.
Other than that I’m okay with opening up myself. Sick, healthy… I like letting people in, especially if it means they will help me lmao.