ENGLISH VS MATHS
a late night delerium poem

Sometimes I wish I taught English
So I could read poems to my class
I could read them a story of far away places
Instead of just teaching them Maths

Today I taught classes to graph things
And they didn’t seem overly thrilled
Inquiring when they’d ever use it in life
Who would want them to have all these skills?

In English, I’d teach them rhetoric
To inform and persuade and give speeches
Hyperboles instead of hyperbolas
There is so much that English class teaches!

I would teach them the classics of Shakespeare
And, of course, we would put on a play
Othello, Macbeth, and then Hamlet
They will be all their favourites someday

I’d make sure they didn’t use txt spk
Cuz i dnt wanna c english die LOL
Grammar and punctuation is essential
And vocabulary is a must, as well

But what do I LOVE more than English?
More than Faulkner, Bronte, and Thoreau?
Statistics, Geometry, and Algebra!
So really, I’d have to teach both!

Comments on this post

  • What a cute poem! I was smiling while reading through it!

    Hope you’ve settled into the new school year already, and that things are going smooth!

  • Haha, I thought this poem was adorable! I was always an English/history class girl myself, though. Math was never my strong subject :(

  • So in the states we call it “Math” and everywhere else seems to call it Maths. Can you explain since you went from the states to NZ?

  • Interesting that in New Zealand they call it Maths. You learn something new every day.
    A awesome and epic poem. Smiling throughout it.

  • Nicely done Caity! I really am more of an English girl myself, but I was good at math up until grade 11. But I seem to remember very much enjoying graphs in math glass (probably because they were like puzzles and I love puzzles!) It is too bad that children and teens don’t understand the importance of what they are learning until long after school finishes…I wish I could remember more of what I learned in math class :/

  • Maybe I’m the odd one out, but I’ve always viewed English and math as being similar. Math is a language and I like both. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the opportunity to teach math recently, but I always get excited when I do. I really like doing both (Thoreau AND derivatives). When I’m only doing one, I miss the other.

  • You are so talented! :)

  • LOL I love this! You should read it to your students. But seriously, where do you use graphing in RL?!

  • I use math when making new layouts and doing TCG-related things… I never would have thought that working on websites would require math, but it does!

    This was a cute and clever poem! If I taught, I think I would like to teach both. :D

  • Great poem! I used to love both English and Math. I lean more towards English now.

  • What a great poem!

  • I chuckled at this poem when I read it on FB. :D You do have mad skillz with English so maybe you could diversify and become the most awesome English teacher in the world? You already are the most awesome Math teacher so the addition of another subject should be easy pie!

    And yeah, where DO you use graphing IRL…?

  • Ermahgewrrrdd, I feel so out of the loop with your blog. *squishes*

    My favourite part in this poem would have to be “I’d make sure they didn’t use txt spk / Cuz i dnt wanna c english die LOL”. I would not want to see English die either. Not completely against chatspeak since it’s sometimes necessary for saving texts, sarcasm and just pure lewlz (oh no!!) but English is so, so important. Even though you love both maths and English I will always think of you as primarily a maths teacher — probably because I’m so bad at it and I just admire you for being so good.

  • What an awesome poem! You did a great job, and being a teacher, we sometime do believe we should be teaching another subject!

  • Aww, so cute!!! This poem put the biggest smile on my face. :D:D:D
    And I think it makes a lot more sense to call it “Maths”, as it’s called MathematicS. I never understood the lack of -s, but I have always used the American way, none the less.

  • I love this!! Especially the portion about the Shakespeare plays and text speech. I’m an English teacher, so I always groan when I see something like, “N Melville was all, “Call me Ishmael plz,” in a paper. :) This is super witty–the idea that teachers CAN like more than one subject and that perhaps the arts and sciences can come together one day on neutral ground. Well done!

  • You must have been reaaaal bored! Haha, love it!

  • This poem is absolutely fantastic! I always liked math classes more than our literature/Finnish classes when I was in school, too. That might have more to do with our boring-as-heck teacher than with disliking literature/reading, though.. Math is great because ist a universal language, it’s the same everywhere. that’s why I guess I always liked it more.

    Anyway, like I said great poem and I hope everything is going well at work for you. I assume school has already started down there?

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